Midnight at the Manor ~ Episode 1

                        Midnight at the Manor ~ Episode 1:

Yvonne: "Is this thing on?" *Taps microphone hidden in shirt button* "Is it working?"
Producer: "YES!! Now stop tapping the Mic! You are hurting my ears!"
Yvonne: "Oh, Sorry. I didn't realise there was somebody on the other end of it..."

Producer: "Okay, Now just talk to us as if we were there with you"
Yvonne: "Where are you exactly?
Producer: "That doesn't matter, We need to get rolling, Okay in 3... 2... 1... ACTION!"
Yvonne: *Waves nervously to the camera* "So, Uh... Hey guys, My name is Yvonne and I am the Maid here at De'Part Manor. I'll be your tour guide for today, So let's go inside and check the place out, Follow me!"

Yvonne: "This is De'Part Manor, Built in the Late 18th century to house the aristocratic De'Part family who were originally simple Peanut Farmers from France"
"You could say they worked for Peanuts..." *Cringes internally* "Sorry that was really bad, can I start again?"
Producer: "No, This is the 12th take already!"

Producer: "This is called a confessional, We'll ask questions, You just answered honestly and truthfully"
*The camera beeps and boops into life*
Producer: "So, How long have you worked for Ms De'Part?"
Yvonne: "Oh, many, many years...  I was only 7 years old when my family began employment here at De'Part Manor"
Producer: "Would you say you know the place well?"
Yvonne: "Certainly..."
Producer: "You know there are stories about old buildings such as this having secret passageways, Does the Manor have any such secrets doors or rooms?"
Yvonne: "I could tell you, But then I'd have to kill you"
Producer: 0_0
Yvonne: "I'm kidding, I'm not a murderer, What do you take me for?" *Nervous laugh*

Yvonne: "This is the Great Hall, It's not that great come to think of it, It's just where we keep the shoes... Oh, and we have a kick-ass Grandfather clock! You know, There are legends that say when a clock such as this which has been owned by a family for generations stops ticking, It's owner dies!"
Producer: "Citation needed"
Yvonne: "Yeah, Thanks Wikipedia..."

Yvonne: "Anywho, This is the Dining Room, All set for tonight. Over there is the bar, Alfredo likes to visit that often. As you can see we have quite a few bottles of champagne... Lol, Ooops, Sorry I mean "Nectar" strictly non-alcoholic. *Winks at camera*

Yvonne: "Here is the Grand Fireplace, Lots of Grand stuff around here..."

Yvonne: "And here is the "Grand" kitchen, Which isn't that grand at all, Looks like my Grandma's place"

Yvonne: "Ah, Over here is Alfredo, He is our resident Chef... Hey! Alf! What's cooking?"

*Alfredo sings loudly in Spanish and completely ignores Yvonne*

 "You must excuse him, he's from Barcelona..." *Whispers* "And Very deaf"

Alfredo: *Singing* "Barcelona... Barcelona! Un sueno me envolvio! Tal vez estas aqui!!!"
Yvonne: *Interrupting while singing the following words off-key* "Alfredo, Do you have everything ready for tonight?!"

Alfredo: "Ah! Is you señora! I sorry, I did not hear you come in!"
Yvonne: "I was just saying, Is the food gonna be ready on time?"
Alfredo: "Si señora, Is all ready, Just need to prepare the Spanish Omelette!"
Yvonne: "Well just make sure you have it done in the next 20 minutes, When the guests arrive I shall seat them in the Lounge, Then I shall bring them into the Dining room at no later than 8:00pm, got it?"
Alfredo:"Si"
Yvonne: "And remember Alfredo, We have guests, So no swearing if you would please"
Alfredo: "Si... No, I mean, Um, Okie Dokie"
Yvonne: "Good enough..."

Alfredo: *Cuts his thumb on the Knife block and mutters Spanish obscenities to himself, roughly translating as various vegetables and where to stick them*
Yvonne: "What was that?"
Alfredo: "Nothing, señora"
 

Yvonne: "Have you been drinking again?"
Alfredo: "No, no desde esta mañana! It all goes in the sauce!"
Yvonne: "Hmm... Just be careful buddy"

Producer: "So, it's Alberto, Yes?
Alfredo: "No! Alberto is my twin brother! Me is name is Alfredo Fernandez Manuel! I am great chef from España! Back home I am known as "La gran cebolla!"
Producer: "So your name is Alfredo?"
Alfredo: "Si, La gran cebolla!"
Producer: "Yeah, yeah, we got it... and you have been working here for 5 months, Correct?
Alfredo: "Si"
Producer: "Do you enjoy working here?"
Alfredo: "Si, Is very good pay, I earn enough to send home to mamá so she can buy a nice new La' casa with window and garden and lots of vegetables!"

Producer: "Is it true you gave your last employers food poisoning?"
Alfredo: "No comentarios"
Producer: "Right..."

Yvonne: "So, This is the Lounge or if you are really posh "The Drawing Room" whatever that means, Like do they actually do drawing in a drawing room? What's all that about? If you know the Answer, Phone in and tell us..."
Producer: "Please don't!"

Yvonne: "Um, This fireplace needs lighting, excuse me a moment"
Producer: "Wow, That's a bit dangerous isn't it, Having those sharp implements hanging up there?!"
Yvonne: "Ms De'Part has a love of all things macabre, I'm sure she finds it humorous to hang the Fire Pokers so haphazardly..."

Yvonne: "This is the Study, This room is usually kept locked due to the fact that Ms De'Part spends most of her time in here managing the family business"

Yvonne: "But... While the cats away the mice will play! Time to use some free internet to check my Twitter and my E-Mails"

Yvonne: "Oooooh! 9 New messages... *Scoffs* Ain't I popular?"
Producer: "Who are they from?"
Yvonne: "None of your business, cheeky!" *Winks* "They are from the 9 guests confirming there attendance tonight"
Producer: "I thought you said there was going to be 8 guests?"
Yvonne: "Yes, I did, All will be explained later..."

*A large overbearing portrait of Ms De'Part hung gracefully and solemnly upon the centuries-old mahogany wood panelled walls of the Study, overbearing, Much like the Lady herself no doubt?*
Yvonne: "I have never liked that painting, It's creepy, it always gives me the impression I am being watched..."

Producer: "What is Ms De'Part like as a Boss?"
Yvonne: "Oh, She is very kind and generous. She always gives her staff a raise when they ask for it and every Christmas she buys all her staff a present, Something like a box of soap or some perfume, Come to think of it she could also be trying to tell us that we smell"
Producer: "Do the other staff like her?"
Yvonne: "I should hope so, She pays them enough!" *Is visibly uncomfortable talking about her boss*

Yvonne: "Are we like, done here? I believe I have some dust that needs busting"
Producer: "Yeah, We are finished, You can go"

*Electricity builds in the air as a Thunderstorm rolls overhead, The air is warm and clammy, Rain pours in buckets soaking every inch of the driveway*

Yvonne: "Out here is the newly built Pool and with any luck, the weather should calm down so we can all go for a dip! The guests! The guests I mean!! *Nervous laugh*
Producer: "Who's the hottie in the swimming trunks?"
Yvonne: "He's our gorgeous Pool Boy, Kevin, Not that I take much interest in the opposite gender mind you" *Looks sternly towards the camera*

Yvonne: "Hey Kevin!"
Kevin: "Yo! Y-V! Howz it hanging?"
Yvonne: "I don't know how to answer that... Um, What is... Uh, Up my dude or something?"

Kevin: "Like there was some glass in the bottom of the pool so I like went to fish it out and dude! There was like totally something wrong with the pool filter, It was like spewing this green crud all into the water, It was like totally gnarly dude!"
Yvonne: "In English, Please..."
Kevin: "Your pool filter is crap my dude"
Yvonne: "Ah, I see"

Producer: "How long have you been working here?"
Kevin: "Like, Three weeks tops. They, like only had the pool built a month or so ago. They hired me to come and clean it on a Wednesday. Because of the Party tonight, I like came in to clean it before anyone used it"
Producer: "And you were hired by the elusive Ms De'Part, correct?"
Kevin: "Totally, She like phoned me up one day and said "Come work for me" she paid me a huge wad of cash too!"
Producer: "Have you ever met her?"
Kevin: "That would be a no, She sounded nice on the phone though"

Yvonne: "Look, Kevin, We got a load of guests coming tonight, We need you to be gone before they get here, Okay sweetie?"
Kevin: "Wow, bummer. Can't I just stay for the cheesy nibbles?"
Yvonne: "No..."

Yvonne: "And for god's sake man, Go put some clothes on! You'll distract the guests!"
Kevin: "That's funny, usually people who hire me ask me to take them off..."
Yvonne: "Just hurry up and get going!"

Kevin: "Yvonne can be a bit of a strict bitch sometimes but she's cool I guess, Wait is the camera still on?"
Producer: "Uh, yes..."
Kevin: "Double bummer"

Kevin: "Later, Alligator!"
Yvonne: "And this time, Use the side entrance! Don't go bothering the guests with your stories about sharks and surfboards or whatever it is you do on the weekends!"

Yvonne: "So as I was saying before I got distracted, This is the upstairs, Where the guest bedrooms are... If we are lucky we might go and see Ms De'Part, She's in her room getting ready for the party"

Yvonne: "Hey Alf! What ya doing?"
Alfredo: "I is taking the food to Señorita De'Parto to taste before the guests arrive, But she no want any, She is very sick!"

Yvonne: "Oh dear, I hope she's alright, I've spent weeks planning this party, I know how much it means to her. She wouldn't want to cancel..."
Alfredo: "I don't know señora, She is in a bad way, She is puking her guts up in the bathroom"
Yvonne: "Oh Alf, I hope you haven't given her food poisoning!"
Alfredo: "No señora, Is one-time thing! I promise! She has not even eaten any of my cooking yet"
Yvonne: "I best check on her"

Yvonne: "Ms De'Part, Are you okay?"
*Ms De'Part can be heard in the Bathroom, Audible unwell, She manages to gain the strength to mutter the words "I'm fine, Yes, I'm fine" over and over*
Yvonne: "Okay, We will be downstairs if you need anything!"

Yvonne: "Sorry to cut this tour short guys, I'm afraid Ms. De'Part is unwell"
Producer: "Unwell? She sounds like she's dying in there!"
Yvonne: "You could be more right than you know..."
*Yvonne locks the bedroom door on her way out*

Yvonne: "I don't like this one bit, She's never been this Ill before and right before the guests arrive too, I best call the doctor"
Producer: "Good Idea"

*Yvonne picks up the vintage phone and dials 911*

*The phone doesn't even ring, All that can be heard is static followed by a loud buzzing noise*

Yvonne: "That's odd, The phonelines are down. The cell tower must have been knocked out because of the storm"

Yvonne: "I'll try again in a bit, First though I need to E-Mail the guests to tell them that the Party is cancelled"

*The doorbell rings loudly and jumpscares Yvonne*

Yvonne: "HOLY CHRIST ON A CRACKER SMOTHERED IN PEANUT BUTTER!"
Producer: "Okay... That... Was loud, My ears are still ringing"
Yvonne: "Sorry"

Yvonne: "Oh, shiitake mushrooms! What do I do, What do I do?!"
Producer: "Just play it cool, Tell them the Party is off and send them home"
Yvonne: "Okay, I got this..."

*Yvonne reaches for the door handle visibly shaking*

TO BE CONTINUED!